our life | a single picture

A picture.

A single picture was all it took to shatter my heart and unleash the tears like a tidal wave.

Selfishly, I had avoided reading about the Feek’s story as best I could.  I vaguely knew of Joey’s diagnoses and that she wasn’t doing well.  And y’all, my heart was just all too aware of the fact that she was a young mom of a sweet baby girl with Down’s Syndrome…and she was dying…

And I just couldn’t.  I couldn’t.

I couldn’t handle reading their story, because the truth is:

I. Hate. Death.

I hate it’s finality.  I hate it’s viciousness.  I hate it’s cruelty.

But do you know what I hate the most about death?  I hate the ones it leaves behind.

Joey Fleek with her step-daughters | www.thislifeilive.com

Joey Feek with her step-daughters | http://www.thislifeilive.com

As a mother, following the story of Joey Feek’s last days are excruciating. It is my greatest fear in life, that God would ask that of me.  Even greater is my fear that He would ask me to say goodbye to my own children.

The fear is actually so deeply rooted in me, that I have to lay it down in front of Him often.  And I have been known to beg of Him to never ask it of me, and I beg it of Him often.

Because I honestly do not know that I would survive it.

Joey Fleek and Indiana | www.thislifeilive.com

Joey Feek and Indiana | http://www.thislifeilive.com

As I type these words, my heart cries out for a woman in a hospital bed that I have never met.  A woman with a small baby girl, that just won’t understand.  A sweet little girl that won’t have her momma there to help her get ready for her first day of school, to kiss her skinned knees when she learns to ride a bicycle, to cry with her over friendships broken, or relationships lost.  A momma that won’t be there to help her put on her wedding dress, or to hold her hand when she has a daughter of her own.

It is a tragedy that I just can’t understand.

But in the midst of such tragedy, I do know that today, today I get to live.  God may ask me to walk that path tomorrow, but today, today I live.

So my task for today is simple.  Today,  I get to pray for that beautiful woman and her family, and I get to make more memories with mine.  Today, I will take my children out into the sunshine and bask in His Glory and Praise Him for this life we live and the days by His grace that we get to live it.

Sunny Fall Day 2015

Today, I live for the ones who can’t.

Even so.  Come quickly, Lord Jesus.  Come quickly.

| To Follow the Feek’s Journey, visit their blog: This Life I Live |


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